Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentines Day for Us Old Married Couples


There was an interesting article in the New York Times yesterday about keeping the spark alive for long-married couples. The key: Reinventing the Date Night. From the article:

“Most studies of love and marriage show that the decline of romantic love over time is inevitable. The butterflies of early romance quickly flutter away and are replaced by familiar, predictable feelings of long-term attachment.
But several experiments show that novelty — simply doing new things together as a couple — may help bring the butterflies back, recreating the chemical surges of early courtship.”

“Dr. Aron cautions that novelty alone is probably not enough to save a marriage in crisis. But for couples who have a reasonably good but slightly dull relationship, novelty may help reignite old sparks.
And recent brain-scan studies show that romantic love really can last years into a marriage. Last week, at the Society for Personality and Social Psychology conference in Albuquerque, researchers presented brain-scan data on several men and women who had been married for 10 or more years. Interviews and questionnaires suggested they were still intensely in love with their partners. Brain scans confirmed it, showing increased brain activity associated with romantic love when the subjects saw pictures of their spouses.
It’s not clear why some couples are able to maintain romantic intensity even after years together. But the scientists believe regular injections of novelty and excitement most likely play a role.”

Interesting right? I am actually really lucky to have married a guy who loves, nay thrives on novelty. He always wants to try new things. Go to some new restaurant, learn some new skill, visit some new place. I can personally attest in the power of novelty to keep a marriage spicy!

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