In Relief Society a few Sundays ago the lesson was Forgiving Others with All Our Hearts from the Spencer W. Kimball manual. We talked quite a bit about the statement found in D&C 64:9 that says "Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin." And from that we discussed how people often don't realize that they have offended us so when we don't forgive them it only hurts US.
But that got me to thinking, if it only hurts us then why exactly does that make it the 'greater sin'? I think the main interpretation of 'greater sin' is that no matter what anyone else has done to you, your sin is worse if you don't forgive them for it. But I had a thought about what I consider the 'greater greater sin' in my life. It has always been super easy for me to forgive and forget...until I got married! Things that used to roll off my back now get right under my skin and there are times (much more than I'd like) that I find it hard to forgive and forget. Here's where my deep dark secret comes in, a secret that I'm extremely embarrassed to admit. I have come to realize that sometimes I get so annoyed that I don't want to forgive because I want to use my forgiveness as some kind of leverage.
This is a completely new and foreign urge for me and now that I have recognized it in myself it troubles me quite a bit. To me this is my 'greater greater sin'. If I don't forgive someone who doesn't know that they have hurt me I am only hurting myself and committing the 'greater sin' by harboring bad feelings. But if I refuse to forgive someone who IS seeking forgiveness...well, that's just cruel and in my book that's the GREATER greater sin.